HVDES Explores the Depths of Self on 'How To Kill A God'

**On her debut album, How To Kill A God, HVDES explores the darkest depths of despair and the radiant heights of self-discovery.**

Throughout her unique journey, HVDES has created waves in the dance music space with a style that transcends multiple genres but always evokes a deep connection between the listener and the song. During a busy 2023 with plenty of new releases and live performances, the Los Angeles-based artist went on a journey that saw her navigate her spirituality, existential dread, and the waves of love and heartbreak. These experiences led to the creation of her debut album, How To Kill A God.

As her most personal work of art to date, HVDES tells her story and touches on the struggles of self-doubt, questioning her existence, and facing the shadows lurking in the dark. Beginning with “A Heart’s A Heavy Burden,” she immediately dives into a past rooted in atheism while yearning for something greater. Facing these heavy emotions, she acknowledges that only she can save herself, even as an eerie voice calling for help in distress displays her struggle with isolation and loneliness.

“Poison Garden (Allegory Of The Cave)” touches on her conflict with spirituality, while giving fans a taste of HVDES’ dark and heavy production with haunting melodies backed by her vocals that add to the feeling of despair. This tune is followed by “Original Sin” with Wasiu and opens with a verse from the first chapter of John, stating “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” The choice of using this verse was interesting as the rest of this chapter in the Bible can easily confuse people if it’s not read carefully, which could further highlight HVDES’ clash with spirituality.

HVDES challenges theology with “Never Be Gold” and a personal standout on the album, “Babylon (Don’t Let Me Fall),” where she highlights the irony of faith misguided by the human ego, alluding to her self-destruction. Complete with grungy vocals, aggressive guitar riffs, and drum and bass elements, “Self Sabotage” represents a release of emotions, finally confronting her paranoia, lack of inspiration, and suicidal thoughts.

The following tracks take a turn for the better as HVDES realizes the power of choosing love over fear and accepts a greater power that assigns purpose to every experience. “01/01/2024,” “Nuclear Winter,” and “Nosebleed,” tell a story of HVDES rediscovering love and using it as a beacon of light and hope. “Wish You Were More” continues this positive theme, supported by brighter elements in a future bass-like drop.

Just as HVDES begins to find solace in her life, the album takes a turn as she faces personal anguish and betrayal through an unexpected heartbreak. The bright melodies and happy lyrics disappear on “House of Cards (Paper Castles)” as she expresses her frustration through heavy bass and angry lyrics calling for suffering and the collapse of weak paper castles.

The next two tracks portray the aftermath of betrayal as HVDES embraces creation as a means to survive. Her artistic expression resembles her strength and resilience to rise from the ashes and confront her challenges, channeling them into every chord and lyric. The final tune, “Boogeyman (I Forgive U But I Still Hate U),” completes her journey into the depths of her soul, forgiving her enemies despite never attaining true justice. Through it all, perhaps justice for HVDES is not allowing the broken pieces of others to hurt the good in her.

After listening to How To Kill A God over and over, listeners will understand that this album is a testament to human resilience. Even with a slight resolution in the middle of the album, destruction happens again. While this story of betrayal may never have a happy ending with justice in a traditional sense, HVDES’ strength allowed her to continue in life and use her creative expression to overcome obstacles.

How To Kill A God is HVDES in her rawest form, breaking down all barriers of perception and allowing the world to see her as she truly is. Listen to the album on Spotify or your preferred platform.